Hello my ELevated tribe. As you all know I gave birth to my second boy about 5 months ago. And let me tell you the transition from mom of one boy to a mom of two has been...well...interesting.
I'll start by stating that having an infant in the house again after 8 years has been quite the adjustment...but one I like to think I've handled gracefully.
For years before I met my husband it was just me and my little guy (I call him Bubba). Bubba is a momma's boy through and through. He always loved to be up under me and as the only child he was the center of attention. I'll admit he is actually a tad bit spoiled but I mean what can I say 🤷🏽♀️. When I first met and started dating my now husband not much changed. As a matter of fact Bubba took to him very well and they developed a strong bond. Bubba is has become very attached to his step-father.
Now Bubba has wanted a sibling since like the age of 3 and when he found out he was going to be a big brother he was over the moon. He literally asked me almost every day of my pregnancy how many more days until his brother would be born. We all knew that a new baby would mean that we all would have to make adjustments. The husband and I often talked to Bubba about being a big brother and how he'd soon have to share our attention. But I guess I should have been preparing myself for how his adjusting would impact me and my adjusting.
Let me just say, Bubba LOVES his baby brother...I'm already so excited to see the little bond they're creating. But I've noticed that my 8 year old, who was slowly becoming more independant, has become a tad bit more needy since his little brothers arrival.
I can't say I didn't expect this to a degree. I knew it would be a difficult adjustment for him. I knew that him not having our undivided attention all the time anymore would be a shock to his way of life. But what I didn't expect was how much of an adjustment his sudden wave of clingyness and attention seeking would be for me.
With baby number two from the very beginning things were different. I was married and not a sophomore in college like I was with Bubba. I was in a different place mentally, emotionally and financially. This time around the arrival of a new baby wasn't scary, or stressful or overwhelming...it was planned, and (aside from the horrific morning sickness) very exciting. With Bubba I worried so much because I was so unprepared. My focus was mainly on providing the best possible life I could for him with what I had (which wasn't alot) and in the beginning I'll be honest motherhood wasn't enjoyable...it was work...worrying and work. Motherhood is still work, will always be work and will always be worrying but this time around the level or worrying and work was different...this time around I had room to truly enjoy this journey.
I say all that to say that I've really taken to enjoying every bit of the journey this time around. I'm enjoying every bit of my maternity leave, enjoying this little person who needs me all day every day. But I'll be honest I never really considered just how much my 8 year old would STILL need me just as much.
He wants to spend time with me; just me. He wants my undivided attention. He wants me to play video games with him and listen to his stories and jokes. At the end of the day by 8 year old is still Mama's baby boy and he needs as much attention as I give his brother. He's equally important and it's important that I show him that.
I'll be honest this was a major adjustment for me. I noticed that he would have a look on his face when I would be with his brother like "But I was here first; what about me?". He wouldn't say anything, he never said anything but it is was written all over is his face when he would ask me to play with him and I'd reply "not right now". Or when he would tell me a joke and I'd distractedly utter a half hearted laugh. I know I know horrible momma Kia.
But I realized balance is key. Both my boys need Mama's attention and both of them need to their own time with mama. As they get older the same remains true. They are both my baby's and forever will be and each of them need a part of me that is just for them; and it's my job to make sure they have it.
Every time a family growns it's an adjustment; trying to figure out how to make sure everyone is seen, heard, loved on. Making sure everyone feels equally important.
That so far has been my biggest lesson as a mom of two...but I'm still learning 🤗
